Many a cross-country business trip concludes with a lesson learned – the hard way. Today’s bit of wisdom: how to successfully utilize the town car service that your hosts may thoughtfully provide for your convenience. You client pals are trying to do you a solid, but they can’t control everything. Don’t think that just because there’s a guy holding your name on a piece of cardboard, you can let your guard down. A bit of attentiveness and forethought will pay big dividends in this situation. Here are some key points to remember:
- When you’re being transported by a hired car from your business meeting back to the airport, leave plenty of time to account for unanticipated situations. Ask a local how long the trip should take, then double it. And then double it again.
- Make sure you have plenty of U.S. folding money on you – at least $100 in a variety of denominations, to be on the safe side.
- When getting into your car, don’t let yourself be lulled into inattentiveness by a snappy blazer and shiny chrome.
- Ask the driver if he has enough fuel to complete the trip. Make him show you the gauge.
- When the driver asks you how soon your flight is, this is a danger sign. Tell him that you’re very tight for time. Any other answer ensures a much longer trip than necessary. He should gas up and do other errands (car-related or otherwise) on his time, not yours.
- In the event of a mishap, such as a flat tire, don’t take your driver at his word that he has the situation under control. Ask him to call for another car to complete your trip.
- When he tells you that it will be just a moment for him to change the tire and have you back on your way, don’t just leave him to his own devices. Step outside and have a look-see at his concept of proper tire-changing procedure. This will pay off later.
- If you choose to stay in the car, be alert to out-of-kilter angles, or the sound of metal under incredible stress. Ask him again to call another car.
- When the car suddenly falls off of the jack and crashes to the pavement, remain calm. Look out the window to ensure your driver isn’t trapped under the car – it’s common courtesy.
- When you do venture out to take a look at the situation, and you see that the spare tire is now wedged into the wheel well by the entire weight of the car, take a few beats before making comments such as, “Hmm…who would have thought that parking on a 30-degree slope and then jacking up the car would cause it to do that? Damn that gravity!” or, “Poking at the tire with the jack handle probably won’t make the car levitate unless you have an option package I’m not aware of,” or even, “Hey, you know those little bolt things? Those come into play sooner than you think.” These comments aren’t really helpful, although they make you feel a LOT better.
- Keep in mind that much of this is your own fault for not checking the gas gauge, not getting out of the car, and not properly managing the whole chain of events. What you really want to do is get a feel for his plan and find out WHERE THE OTHER CAR IS.
- When it turns out that – despite your helpful advice – he did not call another car, reflect on tips #6 and #8 above. Snarky comments aren’t going to help here. Refrain from pointing out that his company has plenty of cars traveling the same route from the same business meeting to the same airport, and that many have probably passed us by. Suggest that this might be the ideal time to call his company and make alternative arrangements for you.
- Recognize that the driver hailing a random, passing cab isn’t the optimum solution, but it may be the best solution. If this is how he wants to play it, you might as well go with the flow.
- You may expect that his company will pay for the cab; this ain’t gonna happen. Resign yourself to that fact that this part of the ride is on you. Many cabs still don’t take credit cards, hence tip #2 about having plenty of cash on hand.
- Questions about reimbursement will be met with vague and insincere muttering along the lines of, “Call (mumble, mutter) on (some indiscernible time and day) and tell them (unintelligible).” He already has your suitcase in the cab, and the cab driver is starting to move forward. Just let it go. Or better yet, smile knowingly and say, “Yeah, this isn’t my first time in one of your cars. I know the score, this ride is on me from here on in…” and laugh. This is when snarky comments become useful. They make you feel better, and they let the driver know that all the “Yes, sirs” and “No, sirs” and free mints in the back seat don’t make up for missing an early flight home and getting to spend five additional hours in JFK Terminal 3.
- As you’re reflecting upon the experience, keep it in perspective. No matter how many times this happens, you’re still way ahead of the game. Your hotel and meals were complementary, along with airfare in most cases. Don’t whine, don’t complain; no one likes an ingrate. Put yourself in the shoes of your hosts. They just shelled out a huge amount of money to bring in a herd of self-important blowhards who are probably pretty hard to take after the first 15 or 20 minutes.
- So what do you do? If it happens once or twice, chalk it up to random chance. Three, four, or more times? Think about writing up your experiences in a blog to blow off steam and have a few laughs…